Monday, July 27, 2009

Dental Wannabe's


Yet another individual is arrested for practicing dentistry without a license. This time in Naples, Florida, police received a tip that Rosa Maria Toledo had set up shop in her home. A search warrant was issued and Toledo was apprehended on Tuesday.


David Letterman got wind of this and in his monologue stated: “There’s a woman in Florida, and they arrested her. And she’s in her garage. And you know what she is doing in her garage? She’s pretending she’s a dentist. And she’s making dentures and she has the reclining chair and the drilling equipment and, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Obama health plan.


I couldn’t have said it better myself.

So, in the spirit of Letterman, The Maven thought a “Top Ten List” was in order. An "insider’s guide," if you will, to help determine if you’ve got yourself a real dentist or not. So here goes:


The Dental Maven’s Top 10 Clues That You Might Be Dealing With A Fake Dentist:


1. The “home office” is in the garage with the dental chair right next to the Honda Civic. Dental instruments ergonomically located on the peg board.


2. A “Tip Jar” is in prominent view at the front desk.

3. While browsing through the magazine rack you find copies of Hustler, Swank and Leg World.

4. You ask to see the doctor’s credentials and he declines citing the Federal HIPAA privacy rules.

5. You notice the dentist’s lab coat says “LancĂ´me” on the pen pocket.


6. The dentist doesn’t wear a mask during procedures because it gets in the way of his cigarette.



7. The dental assistant’s instrument cart says “Craftsman” on the side.



8. After discussing tooth whitening with the dentist and whether it’s right for you, the dental assistant shows you how to correctly use your new Clorox Bleach Pen®. (That’ll be $450 please. In cash, thank you.)


9. When asked about instrument sterilization, the assistant proudly produces a bottle of Joy. (hey, it may not have the ADA seal of approval but it does have the Good Housekeeping Seal!)



10. You notice the dentist wears the same pair of yellow Playtex® Living® Gloves at each appointment. (good news: Playtex® Living® Gloves have the patented Ultra-Fresh® Antimicrobial Protection which keep the gloves mold and mildew resistant! Available in Small, Medium and Large)

17 comments:

  1. this is incredible to me - I had no idea... gets weirder around here all the time! very funny list - I'm pretty sure my dentist is okay - but I'll check on the playtex gloves and tip jar next cleaning :)

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  2. Maven you crack me up. All great signs that you may need to get a new dentist. I am always curious about those certificates on the wall in my dentists office. Some of them look fake. If I see one that says "Friendliest" I am leaving.

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  3. OK, seriously. If you go to see your new dentist and their office is in a GARAGE? Run the other effing way.

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  4. I love Letterman, but I'm kinda shocked he said that. Funny though.

    What makes people think they can get away with shit like that ?

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  5. This was BY FAR one of your best posts yet!!
    A butt somkin, Playtex glove wearing, Clorox pen bleaching dentist...BWAHAHAHAHA!

    My parents have a winter home in Naples, FLA. I thank you Mave, for the public service, but something tells me they aren't the type to be parusing Naples for affordable dental care.
    In a garage no less.

    What a country.

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  6. Margo: Thanks for stopping by!

    Greg: Always check for low-toner-cartridge marks on the doctors diploma's

    Blissful: My sentiments exactly.

    Heff: Of all the things to pretend to be! I don't get it.

    Candy: It's amazing this sort of thing could go on for more than 5 minutes in a place like Naples Fl!

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  7. See, this isn't even funny if the health plan goes into effect.

    I do think, though, that the garage should have really tipped potential patients off.

    Dentistry is such an art form, I imagine it's a lot harder to pass as a dentist than a doctor (lose some weight, lower your blood pressure, you'll be fine).

    Just a guess.

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  8. While Mama's yankin' on a bicuspid widda pair of Craftsman pliars, her daughter is painting "teeth whitener" on the remainder, substituting robin's egg blue on one tooth "cuz it looks kewl".

    Oh yeah ;)

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  9. i think those gloves are autoclavable; just sayin' ;) lol

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  10. favorite post of yours right here. Hilarious. Favorite tip: citing the HIPPA law

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  11. Woot! Florida represent!
    Er, wait...
    Um, never mind.

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  12. *shuddering*

    Reminds my of listening to my grandfather describing how he had all his teeth removed and dentures put in back in the '40's.

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  13. The strong educational qualification is must for the dentists....moreover they should be specific to their departments....

    dental implant clinic in Southampton

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  14. In this case we have to focus the most important matters,good you shared this all of the readers would have an idea.

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  15. It is a big crime practicing dental treatment with a fake license. People should be aware of it. And they should know the clues to identify the fake dentists. You gave some really useful tips to identify the fraud dentist. Thanks for the tips.

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  16. Hi Maven,

    It's both funny and scary. (Next time I will check both playtex gloves and tip jar even though I thinkmy dentist is fine.)

    This can be really dangerous that plays with our sickness and health issues with the precious teeth.
    Online Pharmacy

    ReplyDelete

C'mon, chime in. You made it this far.