Pennsylvania: The Alcoholic Beverage Control State

There’s been a bit of a dearth in the dental industry news of late, so, The Maven feels free to share a few exploits from the Memorial Day Weekend Hockey tournament in Philly. This is the last tourney of the Spring Hockey Season.

First game: Friday the 28^th at 4:00.

The Maven subdivision arrives at the rink around 3 to find most of the parents and kids milling about in the parking lot.  Miller Light Mom was already fanning through her iphone looking for the nearest spirit shops and food delivery to our hotel. It’s decided that after the game The Mave and Miller would handle the alcohol acquisition assignment and another mom would coordinate victuals.

 

Game over, DC Selects win.  Time for the off-ice activities.

Confusion ensues when Miller and Mave arrive at the spirits store to find they don’t sell beer.  WTF?  What kind of backward society remains in the original seat of our nation’s government?  Nonplussed, we demand an explanation from the cash-register dude. He launches into some convoluted-governmental-over-reaching-taxation-without-representation-WHATEVER!  Miller and Mave just look at each other as if to say, “did you get that?”  No matter.  We’re on a mission…so we ask cash-register dude where we CAN buy beer.  “Six packs or cases?” he responds.  You have GOT TO BE KIDDING.  Dude, I don’t know if you caught this, but we drove here in a frickin' Expedition.  We’re not looking for a six pack.  Oh Lordy, times-a-wastin’! He gives us directions, we grab a few bottles of red and a few of white so it shouldn’t be a total loss and make great haste to board the Miller-Mobile.

Three cases, 6 bottles of wine, 2 styrofoam coolers and 2 bags of ice later we’re back at the hotel. The consummate facilitator, Miller drives up to the front door, grabs the hotel luggage cart and – Voila! – portable bar.  Girl’s a damn genius, I tell you.

Since the debut of “Large Marge” a few of the team parents have become aware of my blog.  Let’s just say that Miller Light Mom and her Miller-Grillz have become somewhat legendary. So, you had to know where this was going…

The tourney ended for the DC Selects Sunday.  They went 2-1-1.  Not great, but not bad.  Our one tie went to the undefeated team.

p.s.  a special thanks goes out to all those Pennsylvania pigs who signed their donor cards and wound up at Mabel's BBQ.  At least PA’s State laws don’t prohibit the consumption of pork…yet.  (Mabel—your ribs ROCK!)