Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dave and The Mave Do New York

Last week The Maven was in NYC on official AGD business.  Annually the AGD sends two people to NY to meet with Health/Beauty editors of publications like Allure, Women’s Health and Marie Claire, etc. to talk about what’s new and current in the world of dentistry/oral health.  The Maven was chosen this year…and the bonus was that She got to spend time with the current AGD president, Dr. David Halpern.  Dave is a really down to earth, smart, funny guy who can take a good ribbing almost as well as he can dish it out.

With our two Public Relations specialists, Stefanie and Ashley and our driver “Albert,” our posse criss-crossed Manhattan for 2 days.  It’d been a few years since The Mave had been in Manhattan and She’d forgotten just what 8 million+ people in 305 square miles feels like.  And how that population density affects its denizens. New York Rules of Engagement:  don’t smile, don’t make eye contact, be impassive, don’t talk to anyone you don’t know (they’ll think you’re mentally unstable) be haughty, be rude.  (all requirements antipodal to The Maven’s innate behavior)

Oh but the fashion!  Nearly all NY women are dressed to the nines.  Complete with minimum 5 inch heels…on concrete sidewalks…even the 65 year old gals are all glammed-up in heels. Knowing there’d be walking required The Maven opted for only 3 inch heels as years of practice at that elevation allows the Maven gazelle-like sprinting when necessary. (a linear reduction in speed and maneuverability occurs with each ½ inch vertical increase) But, looking around the byways of Manhattan, The Maven felt positively puerile and in need of heel-Cialis in her paltry 3 inchers.

Despite the feelings of inadequacy, the tour was successful, Dave was--as ever--a blast.  Don’t ask how he does it, but the dude always manages to eke out a few freebies….drink coupons, breakfast coupons, drink coupons, free this, drink coupons, free that…so, The Maven probably had a teeny tiny bit more Chardonnay than she ought….but hey, waste not want not.  Thanks Dave!!!!

Here’s the round-up of positives for our two days:
  • One English speaking driver
  • Zero Sidewalk sex-pamphlet solicitations!
  • Four (okay, maybe 5) free glasses Kendall Jackson Chardonnay
  • Only One weirdo on a bicycle tried talking to me on the street…repeatedly
  • Received only one full body check while walking, and since only wearing 3 inch heels - totally recoverable check.
  • No heels caught in subway grates
  • No ticket for J walking right in front of a NYC cop car
  • Two days with AGD Pres. and pal Dave Halpern?  Priceless. 

24 comments:

  1. 1) are those hookers standing there?
    2) How much?
    3)NY stinks and is full of scum(think Jabba the Hut)
    4)I think #3 applies to all above the mason-dixon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't understand how anyone can walk about in 3 inch heels. Mind you, I've never tried it.

    Honest.

    Do you have a spare head you put on for photos?

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. BT: What? At least the NY hookers have the sense to dress the part...not like your Southern Croc-wearing hookers.

    Rabbit: 3 inches is nothing...trust me on this one ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well you are the one business person that travels and um...perhaps knows what they look like. Room service anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  5. THREE inch heels? I so don't understand how anyone can stand on those for more than an hour.

    But at least you managed to look the part in NYC.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BT: The Maven will defer to your wealth of experience and obvious expertise in this matter...

    Mother: Certainly, no claims to "looking the part in NYC" but that said, in NY ANYONE can blend in.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nothing like NYC in the summertime. I'm glad a good time was had by all. The splendor of New York is never lost on me.
    But the really important question is...did you score any freebies from the beauty editors of those mags? Did you meet Linda Wells? From Allure?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Candy: The Mave unfortunately doesn't possess that je ne sais quois required to eke out the freebies...and I don't think beauty items were on Dave's radar...but yes, it was a good time anyway. Oh, and no Linda Wells sightings at Allure.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wealth of experience?? You don't even know me woman so that is a fairly bold statement coming from a Yank. I may limit my exposure to the northern snottyness of your "toothy" blog.

    ReplyDelete
  10. BT: Awwwww. The Maven never meant to get your boxers in a bunch...we Yankees do love us some Suuuutherners--even if we don't admit it. The Maven would be crestfallen should you decide to make a permanent retreat from Her "toothy blog." :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. *gulp* Well, since you put it that way. I am a sucker for a pretty dame, even if it's only what I can see from the neck down in your pic. I'll stay :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow.

    "Baby got RACK" !!!

    Hey, next time you're there, bring Donna back some of those kickin' Hooker shoes. Size 7, please.

    The red ones in the pic will do fine :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. BT: be still my heart...

    Heff: As you well know, "objects on blog may appear larger than actual size." LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I question the validity of that statement, Mave....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Heff: The quote: "What we see depends mainly on what we look for." comes to mind. Trust The Maven, Heff...it's an illusion. Sorry to disappoint.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Did someone call me a hooker? Again?

    * whispers to Maven* Are you Carrie Bradshaw?

    I won't tell a soul if you are...but..if you are.....
    WOULD YOU STOP F------ING MR. BIG!?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Uber: While The Maven completely supports a woman's right to shoes, she has precious little else in common with Carrie Bradshaw. Oh, and as for Mr. Big? He doesn't even move the needle on The Maven's tachometer.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mave, was that you, in orange tank?

    Ah. I shall slink off now, into my middle-aged cave.

    ReplyDelete
  19. being in NYC priceless baby, priceles

    ReplyDelete
  20. Lawyer: Hey Girl!! Thought you were on vacation! Good to see you back in the blogosphere. Uh, yes, that would be The Mave.

    Bern: Yup...cool place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there. DC is about as impersonal and self-absorbed as The Maven can tolerate.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Maven, that sounds completely awesome!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Damz...I knowd dos feetseses lookded familar, dos my hos, tell dem dey bes has my money.

    ReplyDelete
  23. HPH: Yup. Twas.

    Lil Nigs: She'd love to help, but unfortunately, Federal HIPAA regulations prohibit The Maven from intervening on your behalf. I'll holla...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Heel cialis! Yes, where is this wonder product!

    ReplyDelete

C'mon, chime in. You made it this far.