Oh, Dat Philly Tawnuhment? Fuh-gedda-boud-dit.

Memorial Day Weekend is a dedicated hockey tournament weekend in The Maven household.  No exceptions this year with some slight changes in our team roster.  Regrettably, some of The Mave’s Fave’s would be absent due to obligations surrounding that fatuous-wannabe-hockey-no-ice-included-sport by the name of “Lacrosse.”  Pishaw.  This means the absence of some key players:  Miller Mom and Molson Mom.  Oh, and their sons – players on our previous spring DC Selects teams.  Anyhoo….

In April we would compete in the CHI-Town Shuffle – we were a solidly dominant team heading into said tournament with our boys, no doubt, feeling heady.  Having summarily CRUSHED all the opposition leading up to the finals our team stepped onto the ice for the championship game drunk with cockiness and moxie and let the harder working Michigan Nationals blow us up in dramatic fashion.  Ugh.

Next up – Memorial Day Weekend in Philly:

As defending champs at the Philly Shoot-out, and coming off of the colossal FAIL in CHI, parents and players alike were thirsting for blood.  First game was Friday around noon and despite all the manly-talk before the game, we lost 5-6.  Notwithstanding the appearances of a close game our team played one of the worst games The Maven had witnessed since, well, ever.

Our unusually light schedule of only one game each day until the playoffs certainly provided, if not demanded, multiple hours of drinking.  And dammit, if our kids weren’t going to do the heavy lifting, well, someone had to step up. 

Saturday, we played the Mercer Chiefs – from Jersey.  Interesting group.  Many Mercer dads sporting the NJ Passport:  Upturned collar on the pastel Polo shirt, Oakley’s and rockin’ the Fake-Bake pretty hard.  (You can’t make this S**t up)

Another loss. 

MORE heavy drinking.

Sunday our boys begin to gel.  Defense is clicking, forwards working as a unit, finally some promise.  We win – with our goal differential putting us in the finals! Superstition aside, the heavy drinking is clearly having a positive effect.   Next up is the semi-finals and you simply don’t tinker with what’s working…

Heavier drinking.

We make it through the semi’s to face, once again, Mercer Chiefs in the finals.  Mercer – who is now, undefeated.  The Mave would be lying if She said there wasn’t a palpable hubris detected when the Chiefs stepped on the ice.  The Mercer parents also arrived, Pink Polo’s festooned with a major “we got this” swag.

A hotly contested game with both sides playing well.  However, the once genteel and nearly golf-clapping behavior of the NJ fans was O V E R.  The gloves came off late in the second period and the heavily Jersey accented, foul-crying, ref-bashing, over-the-top-hockey-moms (and dads) came out. Whew!  The Mave hadn’t seen that quick a metamorphosis since we beat the crap out of the Jr. Flyers on their home ice.

   

The DC Selects got an empty net goal with 1:30 remaining, making the score 5-3.  Our side of the bleachers erupted with an impromptu foot stomping of Queen’s “We Will Rock You” beat.  At that point those cocksure Jersey parents were nearly homicidal.   And lemme tell you what...That.  Felt.  Guuuuuuude. 

5-3 Final.  

   

So after a very inauspicious beginning to the Spring season our boys closed the deal right and proper – retaining their title of defending champs in the Philly Shoot out.  Thus ending another Spring Hockey season.

Bada Bing!!