Yet Another Explanation for British Teeth

A swanky restaurant in London, England, recently had their customers signing waivers to eat dessert. The restaurant High Timber boasts on its website that its located 100 yards from the Millennium Bridge, a brief walk from St. Pauls Cathedral and the London Stock exchange, and the only restaurant in city of London with tables on the banks of the Thames. It further claims to have the best views of any restaurant in the UK.

Well, then…

The dessert requiring the waiver is the classic Christmas Pudding which includes an English tradition of placing coins or trinkets within the batter which can be kept by the person whose serving included it. High Timber restaurant co-owner, Neleen Strauss, explained: “We’re based in the City so a lot of my customers are lawyers and they suggested it. It is a bit crazy but I decided to take their advice.” Guess Neleens eyes must have been locked on her coveted Thames view and therefore missed the huge LUMP in the lawyers cheek formed by his tongue.
The waiver reads: “I absolve entirely High Timber from all blame or liability should I come to any harm including, but not limited to, a chipped tooth, or any injury as a result of swallowing it.”
That’s it? How many Pounds Sterling did you shell out to the barrister who crafted that legal waiver for you, Neleen? Yup, looks pretty iron-clad to me. You’re one smart lass, you are.
And whats the deal with you Brits causing insult to injury by hiding those tooth-busting metal trinkets in your pudding, anyway? Hope yall are current on your Heimlich maneuver instruction. By the time dessert rolls around most adults are already headlong into the brandy and reaction times are slightly dulled. No wonder the British dentition is in the state its in. And would this explain the restaurant owners rather subdued grins on the website?
Y’all poke fun at us Americans but you don’t see us sabotaging the shortcake. Cant you come up with a more contemporary idea? How bout this: ever hear of the McDonalds Happy Meal? Its called the Happy Meal because:  there’s no waiver required, there’s no choking hazard, nobody ends up with a busted-out grill and the prize is immediately visible when the bag is opened— not HIDDEN in the sandwich! Brilliant, isn’t it? Yup, everybody’s Happy.
But, if you’re just looking for some quick and easy publicity for your high-brow restaurant? And its not really about the tooth-busting-trinkets? Well, yeah, then I guess the pudding waiver isn’t such a bad idea.