Happy New Year!

"There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means - either may do - the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier."

Benjamin Franklin

The Maven wishes you all a very Happy New Year!

Looks Like Somebody Really Wanted A Rotary Toothbrush For Christmas...

Merry Christmas to All!

The Maven wishes all a Happy Holiday Season and the best for the New Year!

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."  Walt Disney

Select Your Airline Seat After Scanning the Profiles of Your Fellow Passengers

The Dutch airline KLM is rolling out its newest seat selection program.  USA Today reports passengers will be able to link their Facebook and LinkedIn profiles to their check-in information and then “pick seatmates based on similar interests.” 

Right.  The Maven knows the number one interest involved in that contrivance.  No thanks! 

The USA Today report serves as a reminder that the current system isn’t perfect, (as will be discussed) but being a frequent traveler, The Mave’ll  take randomization over sitting-targetization any day.

Like most frequent flyers The Maven has a predictable routine.  Southwest is The Mave’s preference with their uniform fleet of 737’s, open seating and an easy change of flight policy.  Customary for The Mave is the right side of the plane, aisle seat in row 7, 8 or 9 with carry-on baggage only. 

On a recent flight departing Indiana The Maven was delighted to hear the pre-board announcement stating it wouldn’t be a full flight.  Happily nestled in Her row 8 aisle seat, with the last group boarding, The Mave was confident of enjoying the empty row.  Moments later that confidence dissolved when He emerged through the cabin door.  With LOADS of open seating options still available The Mave saw him glance in Her direction.  Averting eye contact, The Mave busied Herself with her reading material.   A comparison to Peter Griffin from Family Guy would be a charitable one…Griffin has a full head of hair with shirt buttons that don’t strain beyond their load limit.  Dotted with perspiration from schlepping all manner of carry-on accoutrements, He asks The Mave if anyone is sitting in the window seat.  (Ugh) After much ado with stowing his vintage 1970’s American Tourister in the overhead bin, The Mave stands to allow his largess wide berth for passage.  Clearly displeased with his present arrangement there’s considerable shimmying and shifting in his seat whilst futzing with and attempting to fasten his seatbelt.  After liberal harumpfing, obvious grunts of dissatisfaction and several furtive glances in The Mave’s direction, Peter decides the open seat IMMEDIATELY ADJACENT to The Maven would be more suitable. 

Dear God.

With the window seat now vacant, it certainly creates the impression that Peter and The Maven are on this flight TOGETHER.  Mortified, perturbed and severely lacking in personal real estate, The Maven lists into the aisle for next hour and a half. The passage of time is punctuated by frequent badgering of the flight attendant for more ice to go with his complimentary beverage and a magnanimous offer to avail himself of more snacks when The Maven states She’ll forego the peanuts… (“Oh, If She doesn’t want them I’ll take them”)

Yes.  Open seating has its hazards.  But it seems to The Maven that it’s actually more random than allowing an unknown to select his or her seat BEFORE the plane boards based on a Facebook profile. 

So KLM?  The Maven says you can keep your “meet and seat” system. 

Sex and Dentistry--Mutually Exclusive??

A University of Toronto newspaper (The Varsity) ran an article taking issue with a local dental office.  The complaints, as The Maven sees it, are twofold:  1.The office is using the University Logo in their advertising without permission and 2: that their advertising display choices have nothing to do with dentistry.

Copyright infringement is a serious offence.  The University issued a cease and desist, which, it seems the dental office promptly heeded. The advertisement pictures, however, are a completely different matter. The Varsity claims, the ads “display faces of young, attractive women, some showing generous amounts of cleavage and not all of them showing their teeth.” 

Seriously?  WTF?

Where is it written that advertising has to have anything to do with the product??  And what makes dental advertising different from other advertising?  Seems to The Mave, this has more to do with a bunch of co-eds who are, for some absurd reason, offended by pictures of attractive women.

From The Varsity article:  “I feel like they’re exposing females for the wrong reasons,” said U of T student Britnee Lam. “They’re using these images for their sex appeal to lure people in so they pay attention to them. These images are hardly appropriate for what they’re trying to advertise.”

Uh…okay Britnee, guess you’re the self appointed moral authority on advertising content.  Can you give examples of when, in your opinion, females are “exposed” for the right “reasons?”  And kudos for recognizing why those images might be used.  When a business pays cash-money for advertising it’s expected the target audience will pay attention and hopefully take action as a result…in fact that’s called “ROI” or, Return on Investment.  (Brit, The Mave sure hopes you’re not a communications major…)  And The Maven can’t help but wonder:  Would ol’ Britsky’s boy-shorts be in a bunch if the ad included buff boys with tanned six-pack abs?

Sex and erotic imagery has been used in advertising since, well, the beginning of advertising.  It’s used because it works and The Maven applauds the Canadian Dentist for his atypical approach.  Heaven knows the dental industry has struggled to get patients to make oral hygiene a priority…and the traditional plea to “see your dentist twice a year” has done ZERO to hammer that message home.  If sex appeal works, then, why not?

Here’s a few examples and a reminder that advertising need not have anything to do with the product:

Black Friday? No Thanks, I'll Pass...

Nothing says “Thanksgiving Weekend!” in The Maven household more definitively than getting up in the early pre-dawn hours for the Silver SticksRegional Hockey Tournament.  And this holiday weekend was no exception. 

Unlike years past, this time we’re fortunate enough to have all our games take place at our home rink – which provides a certain level of comfort.  No guessing about basic necessities…for instance, at that early hour, we know the rink café won’t be open for the cardinal caffeine infusion, so:  BYO.  We know the Pro shop won’t be open since the owner is a hapless wonder who earns a living despite himself…so:  don’t forget any equipment, tape, laces, etcetera.  And, in the unlikely event that the shop is open? Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you have skates sharpened there.  Cuz those edges will be so ‘effed up your skater will spend most of his ice time on his keister.

Preparations for three days of 7 a.m. games began early in the week.  Taking our cue from the Chicago Nike Bauer Tournament and the Soo Greyhound encounter, The Mave, MillerMom and another hockey mom whom we’ll call…uh, “Molson Mom,” decided the mothers of our MYHA Blue Devils needed identifiers.  Something to add that cohesive tribal stamp, if you will.  We cleaned out the local Rite-Aid and Walgreens stash of wide plastic headbands, painted some costume devil horns blue - and affixed the horns to said headbands.  Sweeeeeet.

Next up…the abysmal Rink Café situation.  Both Molson Mom and The Maven were all over the Mimosa idea.  Coffee and breakfast pastries?  Done.  Tunes?  Got ‘em.  Before we knew it we had ourselves a Tailgate Situation.  The Mave’s not entirely sure the Horns were a factor, but our expansive physical presence in the Rink Parking Lot at 5:45 a.m. had to be somewhat unnerving to the grossly under-caffeinated families arriving from Jersey and New York.   And I’ll tell you what…you have yourself a couple of Miller Mom’s mimosa’s and that ice rink suddenly feels positively balmy.

The competing teams were hard working making the games high-spirited, dynamic and often nerve wracking.  So, 3 days and 5 games later our boys ended the tournament, undefeated.  As a result we’ll all be heading to Canada in late January for the International Silver Stick Finals.  Despite the fact that it’ll be the dead of winter in freakin’ cold ass Canada our players are pretty darn excited and likewise for their families.  Yup.  Another example of those crazy hockey parents who’ll drive or fly anywhere at any time for a hockey tournament.  And when hell freezes over we’ll probably play there too.

GO BLUE!!

You Get What You Pay For...

Proof positive of the brilliance and practicality of the British National Health System (NHS).